30 October 2002---5:38p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Ignite "Place Called Home"

I feel like living, breathing trash. Does anyone know how to induce a coma? I'm going to take sleeping pills until my heart stops.

Doctor Nightmare, Attorney-at-Law, might be both a doctor AND a lawyer, but she sure has poor bladder control as my matress just learned the hard way. I'll be enjoying my coma from within my sleeping bag, folks.

I really need to shower because once my zombie make-up goes on tomorrow, it will be impossible to do so. However, I don't have the will and would much rather just go on stinking up the place. Get out your clothes pins people.

If I feel like this tomorrow, I am going to be one miserable pup, mark my words on this.

30 October 2002---12:02p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: They Might Be Giants "Mink Car"

I can't believe I am going to be in the presence of Linnel and Flans tomorrow. If I had exclaimation points, I would so insert them here...thousands of them. For the past few days, I've sort of been iffy about my excitement, but now it's all kicked in and I CAN'T WAIT. I get to see my favorite band on my favorite holiday with my favorite people drinking my favorite beer dressed like a dead cheerleader. I really and truly am excited...I hope Brodie and Meg-Dog are as excited as I am.

I am also very excited about the ham sandwich I am eating.

Yesterday, I attended Meg-Dog's Grandpa's wake and it was sad, as wakes are usually sad occasions. However, I had this list of my favorite moments (which did not, unfortunatly, include the psychotic priest that prayed with us and then hit another wake in a drive-by wake type fashion) but I can't remember them. Needless to say, there were some funny moments which kept the event somewhat light hearted. I didn't cry, which surprises me. I did almost laugh when the priest was singing the "Our Father".

I get to eat food and trick-or-treat tomorrow before the show. I do not get to spend any time with my boyfriend, however, as he is going to another show...without me. He'll probably pick up chicks. Hmph. OH...we ate at Friday's yesterday and it was INSANE. I dunno. Just nutty.

FREAKIE...OUTTIE....FREAKIE...OUTTIE.

28 October 2002---1:08p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: AFI "Very Proud of Ya"

First, I'd like to address the fact that yesterday, when Brodie and Knife couldn't have potato cheese soup because they couldn't find any clean bowls, there were, in fact, 2 clean bowls ON TOP OF the plates in the cupboard. Fools.

I don't like the fact that the Ben and Jerry's I'm eating is just called "S'Mores". Nothing fancy. Just "S'mores". It rocks, regardless.

I still have fake blood on my glasses.

My pirate is sick. He loaded up on his voo-doo medication this morning but I feel badly for him...no one likes to have a cold. I know, because I had one, but luckily, it's almost gone. I am trying to be a good nurse. I bought him croissants, freshly baked yesterday, because he is French and that is French bread.

I lost my mind yesterday. Ask Brodie and Knife, they were subject to it all. I'm still sitting here asking myself whose idea it was to purchase and attempt to do a puzzle. Yeah, I'm sure I'm the one who selected the babies dressed up as cats, but I'm not sure "puzzling" was my idea alone.

They Might Be Giants is right around the corner and I don't know if I can wait. I am so excited that tears well up in my eyes when I think about it. This will be show number 5 for me...I know that seems tiny compared to some people and their plethora of shows, but it feels good to me. If I could pick 5 songs to hear, they would be:
1. Man, It's So Loud in Here
2. Dr.Worm
3. Lucky Ball and Chain
4. Lie Still, Little Bottle
5. New York City

As alternates, I would select any of the following, none of which they will play, and if they do, my head will explode and I will wet myself in public: Spiraling Shape, Twisting (my all-time favorite), Dig my Grave, Stompbox, Number 3.

27 October 2002---1:31a
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: dead silence

I had a great time tonight. I had people asking about my dead cheerleader costume left and right. Pirate did a great job on the make-up. It was seriously frightening to a lot of people. Alas, we have no pictures but I will be reprising my role as the decapitated cheerleader on Thursday so maybe pictures will spring from that. You'd be surprised how many people hate cheerleaders in Kent, OH. They were happy to see one battered and bruised.

And yes, I'm home relatively early, but I'm tired. We did a lot of walking and I drank 4 beers in under half an hour. I'm questioning wether I'm too drunk too enjoy a piece of cheese cake I got at Olive Garden. I'm guessing I am. The boys headed off to yet another party and I headed into a hot, hot shower. I still feel drunk, but I am comfortable now...except for the fact that I am wearing salmon colored nailpolish. I miss my pirate. I hope he come back soon...and takes off his scray zombie make-up.

FANGus Young wins my award for costume of the night...especially with the "BACK IN BLACK" cape. It was sexy as all Hell.

Sexiness aside, the night was not the same without Meg-Dog who experienced a big loss tonight. Switchblade wore her bat cape in memorium yet somehow, it just didn't feel the same. There was definitely a gap where she shoudl have been and her presence was missed. We love her.

I got fake blood on a football player and he said She got blood on me. Now she's my bitch. That sums it up. I'm somebody's "bitch".

25 October 2002---3:26p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Simon and Garfunkle "Greatest Hits"

I'll admit it: I've had "Good Morning Starshine" from hair in my head all day and while I was driving to the store, it came on the radio and I actually cranked it up. What the fuck is wrong with me? Good morning starshine. You lead us along...my love and me as we sing our early morning singing song. And by "my love", I'm sure he means whatever dirty hippie he was giving the Hivs to at the time.

Speaking of The Hivs, don't by the Vines CD...it's God awful.

Speaking of GOD, Switchblade's place of employment actually carries the INSPIRATIONAL SPORTS STATUES!!! I'll be 24 in February. I'd like the whole set, especially "Jesus and Football" as it was previously mentioned.

My excitement has somewhat deminished about tomorrow's festivities. I don't know why...I think it may be this cold and the fact that I am just plain wiped out. Hell, I was in bed before 11:30 last night. I'm hoping I feel better tomorrow and I can shake this funk off of me. I was really looking forward to everything. CHEER ME UP, SOMEONE!!

Break time is over. I've had lunch, I've had a shower, and now it's time to go back to the Bat Cave and finish one snazzy chick's costume. I wonder if she's been practicing a WEEEE BEEEEEE BEEEEEE bat noise to make. That's the noise they make. I read it in a book.

24 October 2002---6:09p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Queers "Punk Rock Confidential"

Damn you Switchblade, I have a motherfucking cold. That's right folks, you heard it here first, the flu is coming my way. It couldn't have come at a worse time either considering the big fiesta de Halloween in Kent is this Saturday and I have a ton to do.

I know some people think it's sill that I clean my house before a bunch of kids come and mess it up, but it's better to have one mess than a mess ON TOP OF a mess. So I have this house to clean, Meg's costume to finish, my costume to work on, and a shit load of running around to do, yet I can barely lift my arms above my head. The higher powers certainly have a sense of humor. I have faith it'll get done.

Speaking of faith, I saw the most entertaining segment of television ever on a re-run of Conan O'Brien. He was talking about inspirational sports statues. You had to be there, but if I can find the catalouge that supplies them, I am totally getting "Jesus and Football". I have to have it. Number 21 is preparing to TACKLE JESUS. I can't believe it but he's going to clothesline Jesus. What a nerve. If you turn him around and look at him, he has the empty eyes of death.

I have two hours to get some stuff done before Survivor comes on. I am determined to at least get the upstairs and Meg's wings done today. I'm hopinh Brodie will come and pose as a dummy for me. There are so many things I could say there...but I'm sick and my wit is much slower than usual.

I hate Dick Clark.

22 October 2002---1:15p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: They Might Be Giants mix

I'm not sure if I like this better than the White Stripes kittens but damn, is it funny. You have to stick it out to the end just to see the kittens in their little boat on a somewhat peaceful looking, and quite still, body of water. Don't be fooled, I didn't find this on my own. I ganked it from Paul Cox. Damn, it's funny. Take the time, people.

22 October 2002---11:01a
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Last Call Brawlers "Huffin' and Puffin'"

I am not having kids, just so y'all know. Yesterday I mentioned having them a few times but it was only because the design and assembly of Meghan's costume was coming along so smashingly that I realized that my kids would have the best costumes...if I was having them...which I'm not.

So let's talk about Meghan's costume. I came up with ideas all day because I was so damn excited about being involved. She picked out the BEST fabric and it was perfect for me to work with. A few last minute added touches and the wings were set and ready followed by the ears which were also a treat and look adorable. She's going to be the most glamourous bat in the history of bats. If you miss this, you might very well be missing my masterpiece...and Meghan's hotness. H H H H H H.

Meghan and Tony were trying to make a list today of what 5 albums they would keep if they had to get rid of everything else. This could be rearranged, but for now, this is it:

1. Stray Cats "Runaway Boys: A Retrospective 1984-1992"
2. Misfits "Collection 1"
3. They Might Be Giants "Miscellaneous T"
4. Lords of the Highway "Haulin' Ass"
5. AFI "Answer That and Stay Fashionable"

21 October 2002---4:43p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: OKGO "s/t"

I think I would like the Last Call Brawlers CD better if it were called "Muffin' and Puffin'". They were much better live.

I'm scrapping the skeleton costume in order to be the "Who Killed the Cheerleader?" cheerleader. Pirate supplied me with a midriff baring red cheerleader costume (which will eventually sport the word "Hell" as I cheered for Hell High before my death) equipped with pom-poms and the whole entire ensamble will eventually be covered in blood and guts. It's going to be fantastic. Tonight, he is going to make my prosthetic slashed throat out of liquid latex. I don't know if he'll be making all my other wounds tonight or what. All I know is I'm going to have a skull baring head gash. Man, this is going to be gorey and I love it.

After this Saturday, I'm going to swap the word "Hell" for the initials "TMBG" so I can cheer for They Might Be Giants on Halloween.

Speaking of costumes, Meg-Dog will be representing bats (but not BATTY) this year instead of pink ninjas. It's going to be a fun project, as I am going to help out with wing and ear construction and application. It'll be a treat to see Meg all in black. We must remember to get black gloves, too, to complete the ensemble. It's gonna be chilly.

My pirate boyfriend is kick-ass as I got a pair of skeleton PJ pants for Sweetest's Day. I didn't think I was going to get anything...but I did, and it was a pleasant surprise. However, in order to thank him for the great treat, I had to smooch him while he was wearing a fake mustache. Some people are so bizarre.

Switchblade (who I may sometimes refer to as "Johnny Pantsless, due to a Sweetest's Day incident) looked like a porn star while wearing the aforementioned fake mustache. It was quite natural, especially since he was also wearing a one size too small Izod sweater.

I am taking Beginner's Yoga starting next week. Also starting next week, the Knife and I are going to take Beginner's Swing Dancing. We'll rock your socks off. I hope he doesn't drop me on my ass. It's happened before...not with Knife, though.

19 October 2002---4:56p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Nekromantix "Curse of the Coffin"

Oh Lord, I ate so many baked potatos and had too much pudding. This is what happens at family functions when you can't smoke and people are bugging you about things that upset you. Once again, I feel the need to drink my sorrows away. Who wants to help?

Anyway, my family function obligation check-list seems up to date until Thanksgiving. Hopefully, I can avoid all my blood relatives until then. My fake relatives, well, that's another story.

Brodie and I had a hate party on Thursday night. There was hate in the air. There wasn't hate in the beer, it went down smoothly. The hate has carried over so I plan on having it go down smoothly tonight as well. A majority of my crew is coming over circa 7:00. It's like a mini party. I better go downstairs and straighten before Switchblade sees how I care for my records. They are not stored properly and I don't want to lose him as a friend and all. OCD, brother. You got it.

Today is Sweetest's Day. I don't feel very sweet. Neither does Doctor Nightmare, Attorney-at-Law. We're ready to rip it up.

17 October 2002---3:07
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Negative Approach "Total Recall"

I hate, HATE this CD but I am in such a fucking BAD MOOD that I am listening to it to intensify my fucking BOILING HOT HATRED and FURIOUS ANGER.

1. Most importantly, I did not get my Gilmore Girls tape last night so I am still totally out of the loop concerning the most important women in my life. It hurts me but I can hold out...though the are like heroin and you all know I like heroin.

2. Most ANGER INVOLVED coincides with the fact that you can love someone SO MUCH for years and years and you (with help from them) destroy your whole life to help them make their dreams come true and do you get any recognition? NO. Does that person give a fuck that they've knowingly tortured you? NO. Do you now OFFICIALLY HATE THEM AND ANY TRAC THAT YOU DID LOVE THEM EVER IS TOTALLY GONE? YES. YES, YOU FUCKING HATE THEM. How do you go from loving someone to hating them and wishing you never met? This calls for beer.

3. I had a great time last night having dinner with my family and to top it off, my Dad and I shareed dessert and then my Mom offered to buy me some knew duds. I got bras and undies, a PJ set, a bathrobe (now I am part of the club), a winter jacket (very, very sheik), a pair of pants, a top, a sweater, and a NEW PILLOW. My Mom is sooo cool. You might be asking yourself, Why, Sourpuss, this seems pretty damn COOL to me since you got to eat steak and shrimp and choclate mousse, and then your awesome mom buys you some kick-ass stuff, including a hat for your cousin's new baby that has bat wings, fangs and ears on it because every baby needs a winter hat that scares them. So, why so down in the ditch? Why the Negative Approach CD?. I'll tell you why...because not two minutes after parting ways with Mom and Pop, I threw up everything I had inside me in a BP gas station. FUCKING ROT. I get real food and I don't even get to evacuate it in teh traditional way. FUCK.

4. I can't find my Soprano's tape. Cry.

On a good note, Meg-Dog is exercising her evil side and going to Columbus to see GBV when she has a big presentation early in the morning. Hell, I had a Physics test the day I got back rom Florida. We are rebels, us Cleveland girls. We'd die for our music. I'm going to go get a case of beer and convince Brodie to come get abliterated with me. I'm not going to stop drinking until my EX brings me what is rightfully mine or until the sun comes up. Eitehr way, I've got a long night ahead of me.

I HAD TO PUT DOWN MY BABY WHEN SHE PUT DOWN ROCK-N-ROLL.

16 October 2002---12:10p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Lagwagon "Hoss"

I could not find Doctor Nightmare, Attorney At Law, anywhere in the house and usually, if you're out of her sight, there is this incessant peeping you can trace (much like the unending squeeling this morning which made me say to pirate, See? I don't need to ever have a baby because I just have this thing to keep me up all night, and cry, and bug me). But there was only silence and I was afraid she might have been SQUISHED by one of her nasty siblings. No...she was just asleep INSIDE a pair of pirate's boxers. It was, to be ultra mushy, the cutest fucking thing I have ever seen.

The highlight of Tiger Army was when the were done playing and Brodie and I danced for about half an hour to music that sounded like it was influenced by a 1970's grocery store. We cleared the floor people and at one point, a passerby was rocking out with us. He knew what was up. I asked Leather-Clad Trevor for a ride on his motorcycle, an idea I knew would be rejected. He told me that seat is saved for one special lady...Mrs.Right...and then he left with a pal after saying Let's go make stuff happen. I'm totally using that line.

I have to study for my Cognitive Psych test but I really want to work on the drawing I'm doing for Brodie. I want to have it done by tomorrow. Plus, I probably have more of a chance of doing something with my art over my Psychology degree. College is for sissies.

15 October 2002---11:10a
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: episode of Gilmore Girls Beginnings

Lorelai just told Rory to "hit the stereo" so they could get on their way to school for the bakesale and she said it wasn't her rocking out, opening the door to one Lane dancing to Rancid to which Lorelai questioned Where does your mom think you are? A quite out of breath Lane replies On a park bench contemplating the reunification of the two Koreas. This whole conversation was topped off by the love of my life Lorelai Victoria Gilmore, whom I model my entire life after, saying: Not here skanking to Rancid? According to Lane that would not be included.

And now introducing the newest member to my family: DOCTOR NIGHTMARE, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW!!!!. God, her paws are like two HUGE baseball mits...and she walks awkwardly and gets stuck to everything. I guess my hands would also be big, unuseable mits if I had 2 extra toes on my front paws and 1 extra toe on my back paws. Regardless, I am in love with her and now the household is even between those that have or once HAD nuts, and those who do not now nor never did have them. HOORAY!

I went and saw "White Oleander" all by myself yesterday and I'll tell you this, it is not the movie to see when you're feeling down on yourself. But the woman who plays Suki on Gilmore Girls was in it for exactly 2 minutes. Fabulous!!! Speaking of Gilmore Girls one last time, Lorelai just made plans with her future finacee Max Medina for the first time...for coffee.

Plans tonight with my pirate and my Knife to see a band which I almost bailed out on due to money and a pending test. But I am, first and foremost, a rocker! TIGER ARMY NEVER DIE!!!!!

This rocker has to go buy lottery tickets for her Mommy. WHOA! Lorelai just said: I want to be in the Bengels but that doesn't mean I quit my job, get a guitar and ruin my life...to be a Bengel...does it? and I'm attracted to pie...that doesn't mean I should go and date PIE. Sweet lord, we are one in the same.

14 October 2002---9:14p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: New Bomb Turks "Destory Oh Boy"

FUCK TECHNOLOGY. Everything I just typed got lost when I tried to download the song "Life Is Shitty Live on MTV A.K.A. I Don't Give a Fuck About Ashleigh" by Sexual Tension. FUCK. Well Johnny Switchblade, I guess you're just going to have to wait until tomorrow for an update. I really want to hear the lyrics to that tune now that I know some history behind the song but it just effed everything up in my world. Fuck this machine and it's wild ways.

I can say this: I had to have Brodie buy my drinks last night out of fear that I might get cut off by the bartender, whom I am related to by blood. Go figure. I thought I was an adult of legal age with a designated driver but I guess I'll always be looked at as the youngest child in the family circa 12 years old. It probably doesn't help that I still wear my hair in a ponytail. Feh.

The Knife just professed some profound thoughts that makes me seem like an upstanding citizen while still holding true to my views on those leeches you people called "children/kids/babies": I did learn that Sourpuss is probably going to win "Babysitter of the Year" one of these days, because I believe her when she says that she doesn't want kids. But she seems to have a damn good time with 'em when they're around.... Good thing the word "mommy" still scares her.

Offspring are fun...as long as they go home with someone else when I'm done with them.

13 October 2002---11:20a
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Pixies "Doolittle"

Is it wrong that I get so excited when pirate leaves his hair down and even more excited when he leaves it down and sticks his head out the window so the wind can blow through it? I feel like I'm cheating on him somehow.

Friday was a success with a visit to Brodie's with beer, food, and Bob Carpenter, brothe rto Karen Carpenter...literally. The ride home was rough as for the first time in quite awhile, I struggled to keep my eyelids open on the ride back. Rough, I tell ya.

Camping was a blast as pirate boycotted going to Six Flags alone in Richard Norton fashion and joined the Knife and myself (while thrilled me as in the past 90 days or so of our relationship, we've always slept in the same place except when I had to stay in the hospital and when I had to go to Columbus. I can't sleep without him. I hope this doesn't mean I have to get married to him). I loved our tent and eventhough it rained through the night, we stayed dry and slept well after having beers with my brother-in-law and being entertained by my 13 year old nephew...all I can say is this: Hans Phillip, now there's a guy. He walks like a depressed French-Canadian. Haw haw haw. Breakfest was great. Me squatting and peeing in the bushes...not so great. All in all, I'm super glad we went and I'm super glad that Knife cleaned out a pumpkin for me to carve. It was reairmed that I am not camping material. I like my bed.

Speaking of that, I am going to go camp "Sourpuss Style" with my sleeping bag on my bed. I REALLY need a nap or I am going to be one grouchy Mother-Trucker for Lords of the Highway tonight and that would just...what's the word? Suck fucking ass. Catch y'all later.

Oh...by the way...Knife is no longer my friends as this morning, he says to me, Today is the day I realized that you are going to have like 8 children closely rivaled when last night he said, You're going to be a great Mom. If only I had a long ninja sword handy.

11 October 2002---4:11p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Piranhas "s/t"

I am thrilled that Meg-Dog got her TMBG ticket...I am sorry to Miss Kinney for missing out on our one-on-one Survivor time last night...Brodie's girlfriend is POLISH not JEWISH so there's my correction to anyone I misinformed...Knife and I are camping tomorrow...Paul Cox is back on my A-list...Pirate is going to Six Flags alone tomorow, like the real life Richard Norton who rode bumper cars all day long.

Just returned from the Med Center. I don't really know what's wrong with me but I have a presciptions for Vicodin, an antibiotic and a school excuse note. I guess I have a general infection and pain. Go figure.

So I have along weekend, just like the Knife, headed up tonight when I'll be doing...I don't know what the fuck I'll be doing. I guess I have options. I could hang out here, go to the Mantis, go to Cleveland and hang with Brodie. Who knows? But then tomorrow I have to get all domestic and bake brownies and then go camping and put on a family face, while will be annihilated by a strong dose of MY reality: Lords of the Highway, cigarettes, and beer. The same will repeated, if not slightly altered, on Tuesday with Tiger Army.

I need to eat something before I pop some "muscle relaxers" and get goofy...legally.

10 October 2002---10:06p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Queers "Beyond the Valley..."

I just got out of my car and collapsed. I thought my leg was asleep but then I got an incredible pain around my kidney...the same pain I had after my surgery. I walked inside sort of doubled over and managed to make it upstairs. I put on some pajama pants and sat in here to check e-mail when suddenly, I got the obscene desire to urinate and I thought I wasn't going to make it but I did, thank my lucky Stars (Hallow). Anyway, when I went to "do my business", it felt like I was pissing needles. Now I'm in agony and debating wether or not to go to the hospital, my home away from home. It hurts SOOOO bad and I'm scared, but this back pain went away when it was happening post-surgery. I don't want to waste my time in the ER and have it disappear. I don't know what to do. Yes, I do...cry.

I hope everything works out okay. I'd go to the ER, but I'm a complete pussy with next to NO TOLERANCE for pain.

10 October 2002---3:50p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Los Straitjackets "The Velvet Touch of..."

Isn't it a "juke box"? If not, I've been making a fool of myself for years.

After unintentionally reading the blog I had banned, I was reminded of MY two favorite parts of this week's Gilmore Girls episode:

1. "Tiny Cities Made of Ashes" by Modest Mouse was playing while Lane was writing her "Drummer With Good Beats Seeks Band" want ad.

2. Lorelai and Rory went to dinner at a Harvard alumnist's house to get soem tips for Rory's application, and the guy was totally education minded with two ivy league robot children. He fired off obsurd questions to them throughout the whole dinner. Then he had the nerve to ask non-college educated Lorelai some question that no normal person would know the answer to and she replied: Well...I know that Istanbul WAS Constantinople so if you have a date in Constantinople, she'll be waiting in Istanbul.

I was in such a state of shock that I couldn't even laugh until the commercial break. It is by far the best show on television. I watch it for the content (and Lane wearing a Dead Kennedys' T-shirt). Some people watch it for Rory's ass in denim. I love you, Jess. I love you, Luke, but keep your hat on for fuck's sake.

10 October 2002---2:44p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Vines "Highly Evolved"

This CD is just as fucking bad as they day I bought it, therefore, it is going to Record Exchange along with Letters To Cleo, the Offspring, and Charlie's Angels on DVD. Farewell, fuckers. (sidenote: I also cleaned out my CDRs and am donating Morrissey, the Smith, and the Cure to Miss Kinney. I must have been in one of those deep and dark phases. Well, FUCK THAT SHIT).

Paul Cox has not left me a note since...um...circa August. Fuck that shit as well.

Speaking of circa August, the blood clot in my arm ha changed from the shape of a Good 'N' Fruity to the shape of a small pea and it has migrated from it's past location. Should I be worried? I was told not to touch it but I've been touching it and now it's moving. When I feel it through my skin I start to feel like I'm going to toss my cookies. This can't be good.

Lords of the Highway are playing on Sunday night at the Beachland and I am throughly excited, plus, I get to have a date with my pirate after not sleeping in the same bed (as I will be sleeping in a tent with the Knife...and we'll be "KNIFING AROUND...cut cut cut cut cut cut cut). I hope LOTH play "Sock Hop". I always seem to be in the bathroom or late when they do. "The Devil Made Me Do It" is also a prime choice as it is the best new song they've written.

I have a Geography test tomorrow. Have I studied? No. Am I going to Cleveland to watch Survivor? Possibly. Am I irresponsible? Yes.

You can't rely on that Paul Cox guy for anything...damn!

8 October 2002---12:09p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Rip Offs "Discography"

I am officially boycotting the Brodieverse as Brodie himself has been neglecting his site left and right and I just think that is vile. How am I supposed to stay on top of things?

I guess I could just get filled in when we hang out, like tonight for Gilmore Girls (YES...Rory's application to Harvard comes TODAY) and adventures at the bowling alley (I just caught myself typing "blowing alley" and that is just INAPPROPRIATE). But if I didn't complain about something, I wouldn't be me. Update or die.

I just made the pirate late for work.

Speaking of pirate's, I have decided to get a "traditional" tattoo, which I guess refers to sailor type stuff, that says "Mom" in a banner. I think it's fitting since she is so oblivious to my tattoos. Maybe I'll be really classy and get "Sandy". But I can't decided if I want something that represents her behind the banner or just something typical like an anchor or sparrows or whatever. Ideas are appreciated.

I am having potato pancakes and yogurt for breakfest. I like having a clean kitched that I can cook in. I like the Knife for cleaning it.

And for the enquiring Knife, "Bologna Cake" consists of cream cheese, cream or milk, chives, mustard, bologna, salami, and toothpicks. You mix all the goop together and use it like a glue alternating between the salami and bologna, building a cold-cut fortress. You cover and chill it for 2 hours and then cut it into little, disgusting slices which you then kill with a toothpick. How fucking vile.

7 October 2002---2:00p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Southern Culture On the Skids "Plastic Seat Sweat"

Dennis A.Bell-Murder (I'm assuming he's the kind of man who would want to keep his own last name after marriage) sent me an e-mail yesterday with an attachment titled "ben_devil_final.mp3" and I really didn't understand it, though since I listened to it alone, it was kind of scary.

I am so not going to my workshop today and I don't give a fuck who wants to lecture me about it. I wrote my paper, I'm going to turn it in and that's that. I have a test to study for, my room to clean, and a pit stop at Big Fun to make. I'm just not in the mood to sit in those uncomfortable desks for 3 hours, no sir. And I am now adhearing to Brodie's "Last One Out of the Gate" theory...I will make a swinging come back.

I almost had a real live heart attack yesterday as my darling pirate surprised me with the fact that his mother, both sisters, and his niece were coming over to visit him...and me...at MY HOUSE. I almost died. Luckily, the Knife was around as we went to see "Sweet Home Alabama" together...it was a fun time passer and I ate too much popcorn...and he helped me get the lower half of my house in order so I could properly entertain guests. However, I walked in my house...and everyone was already there...and I was a WRECK. Hands shaking, talking fast. UGH. His niece drew me a picture and hugged me and I was more at ease. They didn't stay long and invited me to Olive Garden with them. I was too hyped up and had work to do so I denied...but a pirate who loves me brought me a piece of chocolate cheesecake. YUM. If I am forced to get married, I will marry him...because of the cheesecake.

We were talking about flowers yesterday (because I was asking him why he doesn't do all these things that Dawson does for Joey on Dawson's Creek to which he told me I need to stop watching these shows) and he commented that the flowers I like are hard to find. I disagree and I don't know who his source is. I like white tulips (which usually have to be stollen out of someone's yard) and lillies (tigerlillies, especially)...if it's a bouquet, you can throw in some white roses...WHITE ONLY, roses are for suckers with no imagination. I don't see anything too difficult about that...I haven't gotten flowers from a boy in a long time...but I should be getting chocolates from Brodie soon as I scored 3, count em, 3 Bs on my tests...so I BELIEVE I have 3 Godiva chocolate scalloped shells coming my way. YEEHAW.

I have to go. I have stuff to do. CDs to burn for Brodie and Knife. TV shows to watch. And I see a nap in my future.

UPCOMING EVENTS TO REMEMBER
Sunday 10/13: LOTH Beachland
Tuesday 10/15: Tiger Army Agora
Thursday 10/31: TMBG Odeon
Tuesday 11/5: Rev.H.Heat Grog Shop
Saturday 11/9: LOTH Lime Spider
Tuesday 11/12: OKGO Agora
Saturday 11/16: S.C.O.T.S. Beachland
Wednesday 11/20: Hank III Beachland

5 October 2002---12:16p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: New Bomb Turks "Pissing Out the Poison"

I don't know how Switchblade thinks he's going to avoid the transformation from rocker to "future soccer dad" if he keeps getting haircuts. Shorter haircuts lead to nothing but future parenthood. While on my anti-marriage/children/oraganized school sports trip, you might want to refernce this gem as it reinforces everything I've been thinking...only better and in a more savvy fashion.

FINALLY got to talk to G.G. this morning...she said I sound good, that I sound better than I have in the past few weeks. I feel better though I had a crazy night that was 1/3 hysterical girlie fun, 1/3 entertaining due to alcohol, and 1/3 INSANE and messy due to alcohol. Allow me to dissect this pie for you:

FIRST 1/3: I went over to Miss Kinney's and we decided the goal was to eat junk food until we puked on account of the fact that this was the first time in ETERNITY that we got to hangout sans boyfriend (hers, not mine as mine is frequesntly absent). We got ice-cream and toppings, nachos, and Antonio's, the best pizza and the like in Cleveland (though technically in Parma). We ate...and ate...and ate...and finally, my stomach had actually swollen to a first trimester size and smoking wasn't even easing my discomfort so I had to head home, where I actually considered purging.

SECOND 1/3: Pirate showed up after I had been sleeping for quite some time. He was drunk, this much I knew. It wasn't until I got a really good wiff of him that I questioned wether or not he had recently taken a bath in hard liquor. He had...in rum and cokes, minus the coke. The conversation that ensued was hilarious as I do always enjoy being the sober person who gets entertained by the drunk. It was cute, so cute in fact that I chose to use the ever-hated "L" word and he said Uh huh...me too...

THIRD 1/3: ...I DON'T FEEL WELL. I'M GOING TO BE SICK. And yes ladies and gentlemen, he was sick...really, really sick...and incoherant...and babbling...and up at 7:45 to go to work. The one day he has to be in early as fuck coincides with the night he evacuates EVERYTHING from inside his body. I told him no hard liquor...he can't take it like us champs. But everyone drinks too much and gets sick once or twice or twenty times in their lives. No biggie.

So that was my insanity. Something else happened yesterday that was THE most embarrassing thing EVER to happen to me EVER in public but I could only tell The Knife...somehow, I knew he would not only appreciate it, but respect me more for it somehow. Therefore, I am going to th emovies with him tonight. It will be stunning.

I think Brodie was late for work. I was next to him on the Ridge Rd. off ramp where he was going right as I was going left. It was 4:40 at the time. Shame on him.

4 October 2002---11:32a
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: They Might Be Giants "Flood"

Happy October. I'm beginning to realize that people think I am not entitled to equal happiness in life because my idea of this so-called "happiness" does not include a husband and a bunch of leeches commonly refered to as "children". What is the point of getting married? All you get is a piece of paper that basically says I am legally bound to you by this piece of paper but it doesn't really mean anything since pieces of paper are not almighty and people who are married can cheat and lie and break your jaw just like people who aren't. And LIKEWISE, you can be happy as a clam NOT being married to the person you love for the rest of you life so WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT?.

And children? HA. I don't have the will to have a hand in screwing up someone else life. I am too busy doing that to MYSELF and those in a ten mile radius of my person. And then any problem they end up having...it's your fault because you're a bad parent. Well, if you're not a parent at all, you can't be a bad one. So what do I get out of life, you may ask? I get to be looked at as irresponsible and pathetic for eternity because I don't have a husband, kids, a mortgage, a mini-van, and a "World's Best Mom" t-shirt and/or coffee mug. People will pitty me. I'm OK with that.

What sparked all this, you may ask? A conversation where the questions If you don't want to get married, what's the point of dating? Is it just to be able to sleep around with random guys and make no commitment? came up and I basically went into a brain-overload induced coma for the next 12 hours because I thought I WAS making a committment by being a GIRLFRIEND and SEXUAL PARTNER to ONE PERSON. It's really awesome to your self-esteem when the person you love and are dating thinks they're just another notch on your belt because you will never hypothetically consider marrying them...eventhough when asked Do you see marriage as a part of your future?, they answered It's not a necessity.

La la la...if I didn't have a "just the two of us" date with Tessa Kinney, future wife, mother, and mini-van driver, tonight to watch movies and eat junk food, I would stick a pencil in my eye and avoid going to the emergency room until it festered. Ewe...add the word "fester" to the list of words I hate. Did I even start that list?

On a lighter note, I am glad that my friends are interacting with people of the opposite sex. It's reassuring that other people who don't want spouses and kids can enjoy life. ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND KIDS...go forth and frolic, make-out, drink beer but don't sew your seed with out a sed-sewing NET because then you will make me a liar about the anti-kids stuff.