1 September 2003---9:07p

Did you know that Saturday the 14th has a SEQUEL??? Neither did I! But I rented it along with 3 other flicks for a mere .50 because my new video store RULES and Pirate got a purple gumball out of a machine which is the color of the month! $1.00 off!!!! HOORAY!

Wow, what a weekend. The Rock-a-Hula Luau was a rock-n-rollin' s-u-c-c-e-s-s if I do say so myself. Pictures will be sent to everyone as soon as I get a second to regain a non-partying state of mind. I don't feel like digging deep into the gorey details so I'll just tell you that my friends rock (Meg-Dog in particular who was in the ultimate party mood and I crown Queen of the Luau, followed closely by King Drunk-a-Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong, Johnny Switchblade) and there were some odd occurrences involving the childhod game "Telephone" and eyeball licking. Did I throw up? Just to make room for the new juice. Did the cops come? They know better than to mess with the par-tay master. Thanks to everyone for coming and making this yet another good lookin' notch on my party bedpost.

I'm handing the party gauntlet over to Miss Kinney as far as Halloween goes (don't fret, we're all still on for the Kent Halloween festivities) because I need to focus on my Mourning Jackie O. duds and truthfully don't have the energy for another fiesta until New Year's Eve. In Halloween costume news, I lost my potential zombie JFK (DAMN YOU KNIFE!) which I think will be both shocking, brilliant, and offensive so I'm hoping either Switch or Brodie will want to take over. Come on! There's blood and brain matter involved, you sissies!

I spent all of Sunday in bed. I mean it. ALL DAY from waking at 8:00 to passing out at 10:00. I watched every station on TV, I ate food (chicken noodle soup prepared by Pirate to cure the hangover blues and a nice dinner prepared by myself to thank Pirate for getting rid of my shakes), and I napped which more or less involved me staring into space for 1/2 hour at a time while my brain recovered . It was heavenly. And Today was BEYOND heaven as I got to eat adorable steak all day long. I like steak. I don't trust vegetarians. They're clearly insane. Eat steak. Eat steak. Eat a big ol' steer. Eat steak. Eat steak. Do we have one here? Eat beef. Eat beef. It's a mighty good food. It's a Grade A meal when I'm in the mooooooooooooooood.

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDYA DOCTOR NIGHTMARE!!!

29 August 2003---12:56p
DAYS UNTIL THE LUAU: TOMORROW Y'ALL!

So many "firsts", so little time. Yesterday I got my first piggy bank and AFI won their first moon man on the Mtv Video Music Awards. Tomorrow is the First Annual Rock-a-Hula Luau. After 3:05, the first week of school will be over. It's overwhelming.

You know what else is overwhelming??? The fact that I left the room for 2 seconds and Vampira had enough time to eat half of a sandwich! Shame on her!

27 August 2003---6:02p
DAYS UNTIL THE LUAU: 2 days.

I have a swanky new job and by "swanky", I mean that I don't have to deal with any people face-to-face nor do I have to deal with any co-workers and I don't have to stock shelves, mop floors, serve people food, clean up after people or wear business attire so in my opinion...Swank City, USA. Three nights a week I will be doing a job that officially allows me the freedom to claim I've done PR for my University for an entire year when in all actuality I will be answering the questions of prospective students and their families over the phone (Which is the coolest dorm to live in? Why aren't their any cute guys enrolled here? Which frat house am I least likely to get date raped at?). Either way, this job does not interfere with my weekends or my prime time television habits. I feel like the luckiest gal alive.

I dropped my Human Sexuality class. The jocks and sorority crowd did NOT appreciate my sense of humor and I don't think I've been that uncomfortable since I tried to use a tampon for the first time.

Pirate's Grandpa is on his way out I'm afraid...shuffling loose this mortal coil or whatever that crap was. I feel awful because I know as soon as he does pass away, Pirate is going to break down and then I am going to follow. I'm not good when people die because I feel so horrid when my friends or family are in pain and there's really nothing you can do to soothe them. I just say "Awwwwwww" and "Don't cry" over and over which is really lame but truthfully, would anything other than "I'm sorry" or "I'm here for you" really even help at all? Doubt it. Anyway, even if you're not the praying type...I don't know. Recite some Beatles lyrics or something. I hear God digs them.

Blah blah blah...luau...blah blah blah. If you can't park here, you're going to have to park at the stadium and walk over but it's like 1/4 of a mile so I think you'll all survive. However, if you're walking alone, please call and someone will pick you up. I don't want you to get eaten by the Wenndigo. I'm buying a pineapple for the first time in my life so you don't want to miss this hoo-ha because you were visciously murdered by a mythical creature with the head of a reindeer.

26 August 2003---5:43p

I don't especially like to write boring drawn out entries about music so I'll just say this: I've been going through heroin-like withdraw because I've been longing to hear track #9 off the album by The Mystery Girls. It's killing me.

26 August 2003---10:15a
DAYS UNTIL THE LUAU: 3 days.

Hot dog, I do love having an MP3 player. Sure, I've only had it about 10 seconds but I'm about thirty seconds away from making sweet love to it. Sweet, sweet cherry red MP3 player, you are my new best friend.

School yesterday was school. I'm sure school today will also be school. I have my hot Human Sexuality class...the same one that Switchblade had to drop because it was too steamy for him. It should be right up my ally. This is my last fall semester ever and I am going to remind myself of that everyday.

Only a few days until the end of summer luau which was almost cancelled on account of new neighbors. Well, I met one set of them and let them know what was going on so they said if any noise bugged them (which I'm sure it won't since not only is it a Saturday but it's a holiday weekend. Only NERDS would be at home) they'd just give a quick knock. No big thing. They have a big, loud dog. I hate dogs, but I'll try not to hold that against them since they seem pretty stand-up. I hope to see y'all over here in your luau gear on Saturday drinking about of tikis and shaking your hips!

I want Applebee's.

23 August 2003---9:56a
DAYS UNTIL THE LUAU: 6 days.

Stop the presses! We will never again hear such an anthem as "I'm Sorry that I Got Fat" because ladies and gentlemen, Wesley Willis is dead at the tender age of 40. I don't even know what to do with this sort of information this early on a Saturday. I recall one of my very first parties where we listened to Wesley all night and laughed and laughed at his mentally crippled expense. I remember seeing him once live when I had no idea who he was and feeling ashamed at the people in the audience taunting him. Oh Wesley...I hope you have go on to a better place where you can write bizarre songs for the rest of eternity. You shall be sorely missed and I'm sure this tragic event will just make Jello Biafra that much weirder. ROCK OVER LONDON! ROCK ON CHICAGO!

I am having a Cherry Coke and some Godivas (a vanilla truffle and a pumpkin cheesecake dessert chocolate) for breakfest because I am beyond lame.

So last night was the BEST night of my life as Brodie and I saw the one, the only (actually...the TWO)...HALL AND OATES! And yes, we were practically the youngest (and best looking) people there as were were surrounded by geriatrics who had no rhythm and were practically utilizing their depends over being at a "rock show". Sure, we had general admission bleachers seats but they rocked! We were dead center and no one sat around us and everything was rad! The weather was phenomenal and I forgot how cool the venue was with the water and boats and city lights as a back drop...it reminded me that Cleveland is actually pretty damn rad when you're not being mugged or shot up in a drive-by, of course (do people get mugged in Cleveland?). I was totally hardcore with HALL written across one set of knuckles and OATZ on the other. I even told Brodie I was going to HALL him in the face! TOUGH!

OK, so I could sit here and say we had to "suffer" through Kenny Loggins but combined with my 32 oz. Michelob (EWE! I know!), I'm going to honestly say that he wasn't THAT bad and I'm going to painfully declare that the audience seemed far more into him...and Loggins himself seemed FAR too into the 1980s with his not-too-hip leather pants and oversized aqua blouse which very well could have been a dress if you did away with the pants. He played all of his soundtrack hits ("Footloose", "Highway To the Danger Zone", the theme from Caddyshack) and those old folks were rockin' and a-rollin'.

Hall and Oates...what else can I say really? It was an experience encapsulated in rapture (eventhough they did NOT play "Private Eyes"...what shit is that???) My dear sweet date Brodie bought me a pair of "Maneater" undies that have a little devil tail. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person on the tour who got a pair but at least since they have panties on their tour I know there's still a chance that I could sleep with Hall before his genitalia shrivels up. Before I get far too graphic, allow me to include the set list (from the best night of my life...EVER) for your enjoyment...I should note that these are the songs you should care about and all the NEW songs and/or SOLO (how inappropriate) songs have been left to die:

Family Man
Say It Isn't So
She's Gone
One On One
Sara Smile
I Can't Go For That
Maneater
Out of Touch
You Make My Dreams Come True
You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling

Just for the note of you potential fathers out there, sperm can live in a human body for up to 5 days AND there is no way to acurately predict the day you got pregnant...they can't even predict hands down your due date! I know that if I were a potential father, I'd want a paternity test.

20 August 2003---6:43p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: MxPx compilation (go ahead and laugh).

I have a poster in my bathroom of the Teen Idles (not to be confused with the name snatching Teen Idols) and the album covers from the Dischord catalog. Well, in the picture of the lovely Teen Idles, one of the dudes is glaring quite violently at a bottle he's holding. One day after "using the ladies", as I like to call it, I noticed that someone had made a voice bubble and fashioned it over the dude's head that read You and me, Soda...come on, let's go! (thanks to Brodie). Forever I thought that the statement said "Soda" because they all looked greaser-esque and it was a reference to the Ousiders. I was later informed that it was because the dude was ready to brawl with his soda bottle. To this day it makes me chuckle.

CALINETE!

20 August 2003---1:16p
DAYS UNTIL THE LUAU: 9 days.

Sometimes I come across a song that just makes me weep openly and quite dramatically, recently including "Rainy Days and Mondays" and "A Baby Just Like You" off the John Denver and the Muppets Christmas album. Today my emotions have been overly raped by both "My Mother" from the Chipmunk Adventure soundtrack and "Don't Cry Out Loud" by Melissa Manchester which I heard during the 1971 portion of "I Love the 70s". Damn, the tears were a-flowin' and I'm not (too) ashamed to say it...it did a little tuggin' at the heart strings.

Jessica Simpson is what I would like to refer to as a "Ho Ma". Will I continue to watch "Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica"? No doubt.

Since school starts on Monday (and I have the semester from the deep dark caverns of Hades) AND since I really didn't drink myself into oblivian as I had planned to do in DC (and it's probably best because I would have had a hangover and wouldn't have appreciated how gorgeous Dee Wallace Stone is even to this day), I am declaring that I plan to really rip it up...SHRED IT UP, if you will...Saturday night. I seriously almost felt my rocker status declining but I have faith that it will be restored since I found about 20 rock-n-roll dresses I would like to wear and just could not if I existed in what Meg-Dog called "the real world". I don't think anyone will ever see me in a female business suit and it's probably for the best where everyone is concerned.

The Vans commercial with "American Nightmare" is really wearing on my nerves and I have already expressed my opinion about the Modest Mouse Mom Mini-Van horror. What's going on with the world?

42. Luke Wilson
43. Britney Murphy
44. Alec Baldwin

18 August 2003---5:40p
Days Until the Luau: 11 days.

Doing anything alone like eating a meal in a restaurant or going to see a movie can be a very lonely and humbling experience but I think it helps toughen the skin a bit. It takes a brave person to do things alone not to mention that you can't just sit around forever waiting for someone else in order to do the things you like. I just went and saw "Uptown Girls" by myself and I think both the ticketbooth man and the consession stand seller felt sorry for me. I enjoyed myself but I think I ate too much of my favorite buttered popcorn and Snow Caps mixture. I see puking in my future.

My Pirate is the greatest as he procured free ticked to Hall and Oates for Brodie and myself this Friday. Not only do we get to rock out hardcore style with the COOLEST duo on the planet but we also get to have dinner before hand at Boca de Beppo's for FREE thanks to my parents! It's like being in the "Godfather" or "Good Fellas", I swear. I WANT CHICKEN! I WANT TO DO THE HAND CLAPS TO "PRIVATE EYES"!!!

This weekend was a sucess but it took everything out of me that I have to give, no joke. There were tattoos, food, naps, rides on the Metro, alcohol, bad dancing and worse music...but it was a rockin' time. It made me realize how much I miss "Nipples" Byrne. Next time we have to stay longer so the car ride doesn't bust my balls. I wish I could ellaborate more on the weekend but there isn't much to say other than I am going to marry a chicken fajita roll-up when I'm older. I'm going to hence forth refer to it as a "Rule-Up". Yum, yum!

Loft...Zephyr...Saturday night, y'all.

15 August 2003---4:23

So my rockin' good day was ruined yesterday when the Lion King was canceled and the Chop House was closed due to all that electrical mumbo-jumbo that was going on all over the east coast. It really rotted my celebratory day, to be honest. We did get to go to Damon's and have steak but it just wasn't the same and today I'm in a pretty sad mood for lack of a more descriptive word. I feel cranky and teary (eventhough I DID get a big fat "A" on my report card) and all around...funky. My house is a mess, my car is a mess, my brain is a mess. I need to not feel like this tomorrow or it's going to wreck my DC trip and I really thought I deserved some good times. Sigh.

I could go see "Freddy Vs. Jason" tonight but I think I need to stay home and either clean or cry. Either or will do.

14 August 2003---11:52a
DAYS UNTIL THE LUAU: 15 days.

Today has been one of those rockin' and rollin' days that makes you feel nothing but intensive relief and full body pleasure and it's not even NOON!! I woke up this glorious morning after 2 whole days of studying for finals (with a nice break in the middle to fondue-it up with The Knife which included a few marshmallow breast implants) feeling absolutly no pre-test stress which I attribute to my study buddy, Pirate. My finals were a smashing success, if I do say so myself! I haven't felt this much ellation and euphoria in such a long time. My professor told me she was very proud of me for all the effort I put in this semester and it's made my skin just a little extra glowy. I'm expecting my grades sometime tonight so cross your fingers for a big fat A!!!!

I returned home and treated myself to breakfest donuts in bed and reruns of my darling ER but that's where the eating and splurging ceases because I am having a Girl's Night Out with my sister, her friend, my mom, and my niece equipped with dinner at the Chop House followed by going to see The Lion King downtown. Not to mention that I've really been longing for a car ride with all the new tunes I acquired (I forgot just how much I loved Veruca Salt back in the day...the only show where I was part of a "pit", oh jeez!). I think I deserve this rock-n-roll day because I've been busting my brain hardcore. I FEEL SO GOOD TODAY! I haven't felt this jolly in months. It could be contagious so stay back!

I'd like to send out an "OUCH!" to Meg-Dog and well-wishes for her wrist and knees. Isn't there a saying about getting back in the saddle? Enjoy your Kentucky outing.

Speaking of outing, Miss Mary Byrne has reported that she stocked up war time-style with beverages for our DC/Maryland weekend! What a woman! Tattoos for everyone (except ME...why am I always left out??? Just because I have lots of ink doesn't mean that I don't want something fresh, bright, and new! I've planned out my backpiece so I GUESS I can wait it out!) and the Horror Find convention, too...I can finally meet my idol TRACI LORDS not to mention Tony Todd who was the Candyman (which was the only movie I ever held hands with a girl during, just a little lesbian tip for y'all). We're leaving bright and early Saturday and I wish that was RIGHT NOW...after my big dinner of course!! I AM SO HYPER ACTIVE! I wish this kind of good day on everyone.

I'd like to mention that I'm going through Switchblade withdraw. We haven't messaged it up rocker style in days! HMPH!

11 August 2003---3:45p
DAYS UNTIL THE LUAU: 18.

There's nothing like spending your Sunday afternoon at a porno shop, that's what I say. After Switchblade, Pirate and I did a little sexy browsing and passed on buying a DVD called "Naughty Slumber Party", I actually came to the conclusion that the need for a person of the opposite sex (or same sex...whatever side you want to butter your bread on) is totally obsolete now. Sure, a 200.00 vibrating blow-up doll with a vagina and "backdoor" modeled after an actual porn-star may not bring you flowers or tell you you look pretty but it won't tell you your feet smell or cheat on you and there's a 99.9% chance you'll have an orgasm every time and you won't have to share your feelings or cuddle afterwards. X-rated purchases were made by all and no, we weren't interested in any condoms or lubes...but a very special birthday girl is getting an interesting surprise this weekend (hint: it requires batteries)!!

I had a doctors appointment on Friday and the nurse took my blood without gloves AND left a really nasty heroin track on my arm. Should I be freaked about this?

I missed the Atari (sorry TRH) party due to being the only person in my family who remebers what it's like to be a teenager and that someone has to stick up for the underdog. It was probably none of my business and I may have alienated myself but it actually made me physically sick. I seriously feel sympathy pains now when my nephew is in trouble...which is CONSTANTLY...so someone should feel sympathy pains for me. Bottom line: I guess it was best that I missed the party anyway because I was dead tired from all the hot dog excitment ande I didn't want anyone to be better at Ms. Pac-Man than me. That's my only skill these days.

I kid you not, when I drove a drunk Switchblade home from the bar Friday night, he told me what a great band he thinks 38 Special is. He denied this fact the next day.

I can't wait to go to Maryland/DC this weekend for multiple reasons: we get to listen to rockin' tunes on the way, McDonald's breakfest, MARY BYRNE!!!, drinking, tattoos, the Horror Find Convention, and my favorite fellas (The Knife and Switchbalde...sounds like a really angry homosexual crime fighting duo...not to mention the Pirate!) I am going to drink myself into oblivian inter-state style while Switch gets Don Knotts tattooed on his back. IS IT THE WEEKEND YET???

9 August 2003---1:11p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Blasters "Testament: the Complete Slash Recordings"

Tonight is Weiner Night. How can I even explain what that is? I just can't to be completely honest.

I don't care how bizarre and undoubtedly lame this sounds (trust me...it sounds insane even to me) but my whole outlook and attitude towards life has changed in the last 15 minutes after watching "The Diary of Brittney Murphy" on MTV. I believe I was most ridiculously moved by two of the multitudes of profound things she said during her narration:

1. Laughter tends to be contagious. But when a person is in a cranky mood...that also tends to be contagious. It's so retardedly true and now I feel like furry grey mold on old Chinese food for being grouchy all the time and spreading my waves of evil to anyone in a 5 mile radius. I don't want to be responsible for the frown lines of my loved ones. From here on out, I'm going to attempt, and most likely fail, to be a more positive person, count my blessings, work hard, enjoy every day...that sort of funk that actresses who honestly like the color pink tend to say. Damn, just seeing what a tried and true good-hearted person she is makes me realize that...wow, I really am an asshole.

2. I believe luck is when preparation meets opportunity. I don't know what that means but she seemed well prepared when the opportunity to say it arose so I guess luck was involved somewhere. I'm going to start applying that mantra to my daily living and make my own luck or I'm going to end up spending the rest of my life in Kent, OH, doing something I can't stand while my husband has a job he adores. I don't want to be a jealous wife so things must be different from here on out. God bless you, Brittney Murphy.

I just drank 1/2 gallon of skim milk and everytime I move, I hear "swish, swish, swish" in my tummy. I dig milk.

I have to give some "props" as the kids say to Switchblade for taking the initiative...after much prompting...to a ask a girl if he could buy her a shot at the bar last night. However, the "props" sort of get canceled out since he was so obviously afraid of a table full of perfectly stunning and lovely homosexual men. I felt so at home with those dudes...the kind of guys who hug and kiss you eventhough you just met minutes before. I had a nice evening out even with this morning's hangover in progress!!!

Last night, I told a line of girls waiting for the bathroom how much I loved my "Perfect Tee" from Old Navy. Now I am regretting that rant. Not because my shirt isn't perfect...because it is.

7 August 2003---3:13p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Me First and the Gimme Gimmes "Take a Break"

I am starting a record label as of right now...right this second. I don't know who I'm going to sign or whatever but I'm flying by the seat of my pants, starting a record label Rob Gordon-style. Who should I try and lure into the record web? Hmmmmmmmm...the possibilities are ENDLESS! I suddenly feel meaning creeping into my life. Things sure have changed since this morning.

Me First and the Gimme Gimmes cover of "Ain't No Sunshine" is possibly one of the best songs I have ever heard in my entire life and by far their best cover and even further by far possibly the best cover I've ever heard! "Hello" is no slack-ass either.

I'm still not sure if I'm going to the Pistons. I need as much money for the Loft tomorrow as possible sicne those damn Dr. Pepper's have me HOOKED!

7 August 2003---9:41a

I use to paint, draw, sculpt, hot glue things every day sometimes all day long. I used to get sickeningly excited about preplanning entire weekends where I would do nothing but stay in my room and get art supplies all over my overalls. I would barely eat or do anything but work and listen to music and I made it a point to give everything I did away. Jesus, my friend Rachel had floor to ceiling artwork from yours truly. But since last summer, I've fone nothing. One painting for my sister but I think that's pretty much it and it makes me so sad because I have this beautiful easle not to mention blank canvases and practically blank sketch books taunting me daily. I tired to start a painting a few weeks ago and it lays unfinsihed and hated on the floor.

The trouble started because I got nervous being artistic in front of or around Person X because I get NO encouragement and he sort of makes me feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I painted Person X a huge piece for his birthday and Person X (from now on referred to as PX) didn't say much about it after I poured my heart out...I'm the one who hung it up in fact and I KNOW PX's disinterested replies. And the next time after that that I painted, PX told me what I could do to better the piece...rather, what looked wrong to PX. Now I don't mind criticism, I welcome it BUT I think BEFORE you critique or ALONG WITH "helpful criticism"...maybe you should give a little push as well. Saying you really like what someone is doing never hurts really and goes a pretty long way.

It just gets under my skin because I know PX is better that me...that's a fact and I embrace and admire that and would like to learn helpful things from PX to better myself. I bought some books a few months ago, new supplies, got raring to go...and it all faded out. I think what DOES bother me is that PX acts like PX is better that me. PX wants to be challenged to become better, yadda yadda, but how can I ever want to be challenged to be better when I don't feel like I should be doing it in the first place? PX actually never seems too interested in things I talk about being interested in. THEN when I don't show intertested in PX's stuff...well, I just don't care! I never listen! Blah blah blah! Puke.

Point is, I bought new art supplies yesterday and they're going back because to be quite honest...the thought of painting kind of makes me sick and THAT makes me sad. Maybe no one will get this and I don't feel like explaining but it rots hardcore to feel like you're the half of the pair that has nothing going on. I need a new hobby that I can dedicate myself to all day long every day before I die of boredom and/or low self-esteem. Sorry for the gay rambling.

Someone found this site for searching for "How To Induce a Coma". Somebody obviously doesn't want to go to school today.

I might go see the Pistons tonight at Nemeth's. I might not. I have yet to decide my plans. I just feel like getting out before I kill myself. No joke. They're opening for the Marauders which could be a rockin' time, I'm really not sure. I like Nemeth's. I feel comfortable there, I suppose but I'd most likely end up going by myself and it IS a but of a haul. But can you really have to drive TOO FAR where rockin' out is concerned? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??????

4 August 2003---4:11p

Mark your calendars: Saturday, August 30th, 1st Annual Rock-a-Hula Luau at my digs circa 8:00p. Grass skirts, Hawaiian shirts...heck, wear your bikini if you're brave enough. Beer, alcohol, drink umbrellas, and all the other traditional luau fixin's will be provided but if you want food, GO TO A RESTAURANT. This is DRINKIN' time!! Aloha Summer, that's what I say! Anyone can feel free to donate...anything they want really! Cups, alcohol, various fruits...WHO CARES! So be there and rock out, LUAU-STYLE!

***I am over my secret crush***

4 August 2203---10:32a

I was whipped, spanked, and abused by the weekend (but it was worth it) and it didn't even involve any alcoholic beverages...outside of ONE lonely and pathetic Saturday night beer...but DID involve a whole heck of a lot of driving! I do love my car even if it does smell like a corpse and possibly has one hidden under the seats!

Friday night I got to see my Grandpa (who came in from the sunny state of Florida which may account for his skin cancer) for exactly 5 seconds which didn't exactly matter too much because I didn't even have 5 seconds worth of things to say. Was it worth the drive from Kent to Cleveland? I'm not sure but I can possibly sleep better because I went and saw him. Older people tend to die. It's the order of things. Nature has a funny sense of humor.

Saturday morning I was back in the corpse-mobile for my sister's birthday and my parent's anniversary. It was a good time! Not much more to say about that. I had a few free hours to clean up the joint for an overnighter with my nephews following yet another family function at my favotire aunt's house. And DAMN, did they have a nice bar set up but NOOOOOOOO, I was responsible for 2 minors. BLECH! The night at my house was a good and relaxing time. We had chinese food, watched movies, corrupted the children until 3am, and welcomed the next day at the IHOP!! BOY OH BOY can those boys EAT! I'mglad I got to spend time with thembut I am disturbed that my sister had to callto yell at her oldest son. It set the mood for him to be very quiet and nervous all night long. Ah, to be a teenager with an angry mother...I was practically shitting out of fear myself and I wasn't even in trouble!

QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND
Johnny: So Brian, don't you have any girl friends you can help me out with?
Brian: Well, I do have one friend in a wheelchair. Priceless.

So, my neighbor that liked to call the cops on us for noise violations due to our booming voices has MOVED OUT! Yes, this time it is offical because Pirate saw the truck with his own two eyes AND they took their door mat. FAREWELL LOSERS!! In honor of this monumental and uterus shaking event, I will be having a loud and annoying themed fiesta as soon as I can select a theme and/or a date. I really can't wait!!! I plan on drinking until I throw up on a pre-selected guest. HELLO PAR-TAY and FAREWELL SUMMER!!

1 August 2003---10:03p

I just cried (perhaps I was actually weaping) in my car over the death of poor John Denver while listening to the Muppets Christmas album, but I made a swift recovery during the very mamboesque "Christmas Is Coming". God bless you, John Denver...wherever you are, you country boy you. This is really no way to ring in the last month of summer, my arch nemesis of seasons. And as a side note, somebody PLEASE do NOT let me listen to any more John Denver until it is ACTUALLY Christmas.

On a lesser and more pathetic ending note, I also cried today when I remembered that it is indeed Ricky Nelson who sings "Hello Mary Lou" and NOT Buddy Holly because this messes up the entire flow of my "Best of Buddy Holly" Cd I made. Guh.

My nephew is spending the night tomorrow...corruption to follow. He's labeling the night "HBT: Hookers, Beers, and Tattoos" and told my Mom he's going to get inked while he's here only after getting Pirate drunk. He also informed me that he makes out with his on-again-off-again girlfriend in the part of a tree house he likes to call "The Eagle's Nest".