29 March 2003---10:54p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: The Blasters "I'm Shakin' (single)"

I am officially adding "I'm Shakin'" by the Blasters to my favorite song list. I heard it for the first time last night when Brodie and I "owned the dance floor" at the Lime Spider (damn, are we rockers or what? We hadn't even been back from Vegas for 12 hours. Yeehaw.) and I couldn't stop thinking about it after it ended. However, somehow off of lousy 3 beers, I got drunk (buzzy drink) and ALMOST forgot who sang it or even that there was a song at all. But after my memory came back from it's vacation, I downloaded it and have not stopped playing it even long enough to breathe. So now it joins "My One Desire" by the Stray Cats on my list. It stopped playing......and it's going again.

Farewell Mantis. It's too bad that a decade of local music and underage drinking have come to a final end but it's probably best considering I'm sure if there was a Rhode Island-esque fire, everyone would burn to death in that shabby shack or we would all explode due to being pumped full of alcohol. We'll probably never see The Pirates (or certain Pirate's EXs...YEEHAW) again because where would they play? Not to mention Kill the Hippies. Sigh. Maybe it is true that all good things come to an end.

You may not believe that the following things are true but Lisa Marie Presley can actually sing well and they still make "banana clips".

When you touch my hand and you talk sweet talk I get a knockin' in my knees and a wobble in my walk and I'm trembling...and I'm shakin'. Chillin' a fever, I've been told, makes you head spin around and your feet run cold. I've got fever...and I'm shakin'.

28 March 2003---3:42p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Cramps "Big Beat From Badsville"

It's 12:42p Las Vegas time and it's good to be home.

I DO NOT LIKE: little airplanes that wiggle from start to finish, taxi cabs where the drivers like Nascar, cards that advertise hookers being handed to me on the street, reaching for Roulette chips before the marker has been moved and being reprimanded, girls that say "Heeeeeeeeeey" and raise their fake nails in the air, having to stand in an Elvis pose during professional photographs, Harry Potter and Star Trek: Nemesis as in-flight movies, different time zones, losing all the money I was excited to have made, blisters from wearing high heels, missing Johnny's birthday, motherfucking jetlag, leaving Las Vegas one day too early and therefore missing the B-52s at the Hilton, every dick in Vegas asking Pirate how he gets his hair to stay up, landing.

I DO LIKE: being refered to as "wife", winning 5.00 on black due to Meg-Dog's insight (along with approx 75.00 in video poker and 110.00 in Roulette and Craps...all of which was lost so refer to above), a hotel view of the mountains, 5.99 buffets that feature the world's best round potatos, the book "White Oleander" which has taken good care of me during the plane rides, getting a lift back to the hotel with an Elvis impersonator (named Gary), getting cheese, cookies, and berries as an airplane snack, the New York New York Hotel and Casino, the stuffed flower that Brodie won me with darts (second only to watching him bust a move on some dancing video game), beligerant Brett's defiance regarding Las Vegas' right to his "quarter", being drunk at 1:00p Vegas time.

I LOVE: The Knife, Brodie, my husband (not only for marrying me but for saying things like Hello wife), and 1.00 MARGARITAS.

22 March 2003---12:31p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Dead Kennedys "Bedtime For Democracy"

I have that ridiculous new No Doubt song in my head for about an hour and I swear I'm on the verge of an incredibly brutal suicide including lots of blood, guts, and venom. On an outside No Doubt note, it just boggles my mind that you can date someone for 8 years and have this heart wrenching break-up and then still be in a band with them, flirt with them on stage, and marry someone else. Love is for suckers. Lust is the only true form of romantic emotion.

Enough bullshit...IT'S PARTY TIME, and I just finished cleaning my upstairs bathroom eventhough that seems to be the one everyone tosses their cookies in. At least it will have a nice lemony smell when you enter. I almost put a halt to the whole "dress like a rocker because Switchblade ROCKS" deal because so many people are coming late and it might be a hassle for them but Meg-Dog put me in my place and I realized that it's a rad idea and I'm going to drink myself silly, listen to silly music and probably say and do silly things. I'm going to get some Vanilla Stoli so Meghan can also say and do silly things with me. Tooters and Jello Shots for EVERYONE. HAPPY MOTHERTRUCKIN' SPRING BREAK...GIRLS GONE WILD...WOOP WOOP.

Today marks the starts of of a weeks worth or chaos. Switchblade's party, recovery and the Oscars tomorrow (I can't believe they almost canceled them because of a silly WAR), departing for Vegas on Monday, big wedding on Tuesday (not to mention that it is the first day of Celine Dion's 3 year concert there so that town will be CRAWLING with celebrities and I'm gonna meet me some), returning from Vegas on Friday, going to see Psycho Carger and LOTH after a LONG NAP, going to dinner for my Mom's birthday probably with a hangover on Saturday followed by the 4th Annual Rockabilly Freak Show at Nemeth's, and then it all gets tied up with the Fright Vision convention and some detox. I have "party girl" written all over and I actually feel like a college student.

Gotta finish prepping for el Shin-Dig. I'm sure I'll give a breifing tomorrow but after that, it's lights out for awhile. I know you'll miss me. Try not to let my absence rule your life. I'll be in good handa. Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh CHING.

20 March 2003---1:17p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Some Velvet Sidewalk "Avalanch"

Happy War everyone!!

Boy, do I feel like a boob-a-rama!! Since all this hoo-ha is going on with my stupid EX (the one who should be President of EX island because he would just screw all the other EXs for his benefit, much like traditional presidents) my sister felt so bad for me that she left 10.00 for me at my Mom's house. That's not really going to put a dent in my problem but she made an effort and now I feel shriveled and retarded. SHEEESH!!

If you haven't listened to the song "Cow Town" by They Might Be Giants, you really should as it rocks in a very low key way. Speaking of rocking, I have decided to be Sugar from Lords of the Highway for the Rock-Star party for multiple reasons:

1. I have to wear my glasses, otherwise I will trip, spill and possibly end up making out with the wrong rockstar. Avril doesn't wear glasses (but she probably should so she's realize how ridiculous she looks...not that I haven't been there myself) but Sugar does and she wears almost the identical glasses I do. Problem solved.
2. I already have the black slip dress Sugar wears, a Mud Flap Girl necklace, a cowboy hat and fishnets, not to mention short hair that can be pulled back into a miniscule pony. Slap on some cowboy boots and red lipstick, I'm there. It will be less costly than being Avril because I'd need long ugly hair, tons of heavy necklaces, cut off shorts, a Canadian flag and though I've tried to come up with a way, I just don't think I can ditch my breasts.

Over all, I will still rock hardcore. Everyone will rock. Meghan will rock eventhough she may only be appearing as one 1/2 of the White Stripes. I vote no on her Kim Deal idea because I don't want Meghan to have to veto bathing and that' what it will take. Ms.Kinney said that if I suggest she go as Kelly Osbourne, she's not coming at all and I'll get a big slap.

As my good pal Johnny Switchblade would say, "we have been blessed" with glorious Las Vegas weather for next week.
Monday 71...Tuesday 71...Wednesday 75...Thursday 72.

I've spotted some Mormons/possible Jehova's Witnesses walking down my Mom's street. I bet if I open the door,a wave of fire will spurt out and engulf them. Either than or they'll have a heart attack due to the black cloud of doom and evil that surrounds me.

18 March 2003---12:00pm
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Sifl and Olly "Songs of Season 1"

I have no luck at all. Things go swingingly for a matter of seconds and then the swing hits me in the face. I just can't seem to get a break. And I know I have a good life and am fortunate, yadda yadda yadda...but it still sucks to have bad things happen. And why do bad things have to travel in groups? You can't just have one bad thing happen to you because EIGHTEEN bad things have to happen. I'm in a mood. I hate my thighs. That has nothing to do with my mood though. That's just cosmetic hatred and anger, not to be confused with today's dose of wrath.

17 March 2003---1:17p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Misfits "Legacy of Brutality"

Happy St.Patrick's Day everyone. I, myself, am Irish so feel free to wildly make-out with me if you see me on the street. But not if you see me on the street wearing whore make-up and fishnets because then I'm "working", if you catch my drift, and a little tonsil hockey can be expensive.

Yesterday after I blistered my feet to all Hell walking the zoo (no Australian animals, no octopus, no giraffes and no activity on Monkey Island...my new favorite animal is the Fossa) with Pirate, I saw Brodie walking out of his garage wearing a hoodie when it was a bazillion degrees out. Brodie wearing jackets through all temperatures will always be a constant in my life and that is comforting.

Saturday night was a good time but not as good as this upcoming Saturday when the rockers will gather and rock out as one in celebration of Switchblade's birth 24 years ago.

I'm going to the Rib Crib tomorrow. I will NOT be eating or look at ribs.

14 March 2003---3:43pm
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Journey "Greatest Hits"

Raise your hands to the sky and praise Jesus. As of today, The Mantis is back in business. Now we can all sleep peacefully at night eventhough it is now (but I'm sure only temporarily) 18 and over and no smoking. I can't wait until they have a show. HOORAY.

In other news, I bought my wedding clothes today.

14 March 2003---9:08a

It's going to be 42 degrees out today. The fact that this excited me proves what a true and loyal Ohioan I am deep in this rotten black heart. Even more of a blood-pumper is that it just might hit 60 degrees tomorrow. Pull out the thong bikinis, y'all. In all actuality, I'm thrilled because it will add to the allure of the St.Patty's Day festivities since we won't be shaking in our boots (or shoes, depending on your fashion choice).

My thoughts are with Meg-Dog and her family today. It's probably improper to tack "Dog" on to your friend's name when sending fond wishes. Either way, take a second to think about her today. But don't think about her naked unless you're Tony Rocky Horror. And don't think of her with unicorns because that's just nuts. xoxoxoxoxo.

I have no headlights, though a construction worker I passed screamed NICE HEADLIGHTS...I was so confused and wanted to inform him that they were both out. Silly construction workers. Anyway, I have to spend money on new bulbs and that makes me grouchy. I only like to spend my money on useless filth. Like donuts. I'm on a quest to find some.

11 March 2003---9:59p

I just threw up my dinner. My head is spinning. I'm going to have a nightmare about the Rib Crib. Everything on my plate looked like that sceen in Potergeist where the steak slithered across the counter and then turned itself inside out. Then that guy was eating the chicken with the maggots (usually I call them "M" or "buggies") all over it which caused him to go crazy and peel his face off. I think I may have to toss again just thinking about it.

The Knife was wearing a shirt I've never seen today. I feel the need to document that fact.

As far as Johnny's "I'm a Rocker" shin-dig goes...I think I'm going to have to be Avril. But I'm going to be Avril circa her Canadian propoganda and tie stage, which Tony Rocky Horror informed me ended months ago. I'm out of the Avril loop, I guess. If that idea falls through, I may be Gwen Stefani circa "Tragic Kingdom" or "Return of Saturn". If Brodie comes as Peter Criss, he will be forced to lip sync to "Beth"...possibly twice. If anyone has any other suggestions of an obnoxious rocker I can be, feel free to let me know.

10 March 2003---1:05p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Ramones "All the Stuff and More Vol.1"

I thought I had hit the peak of my sickness and was on my way to the valley of health but I was pretty much kicked in the nuts and sent right back to the beginning. My head is fuzzy, my face is full of pressure, my nose is both runny, stuffy, and chapped, my lips are swollen, my ears are throbbing, I'm coughing and all of this was topped off by the addition of gooey eyes and sore teeth and gums. I am at the point of whimpering and squirming and I had to cancel today's appointment with Dr.Tom, which is the glue taht holds me to my sanity. But there is a little light at the end of my tunnle: I do not have Ebola. The book Meghan got my for my birthday really puts Ebola in a bad light. I hope I never get it. I don't want blood to spurt out of my eyes.

I forgot to thank Brodie for replacing my copy of "Wet Hot American Summer" with a slight upgrade from rented (and never returned because he lost it) VHS to slightly used DVD. It was a nice semi-surprise and I plan to watch it today (and every day after that) though if I laugh my lips will probably bleed and then I will be crying all over again.

I just read a nice article about Mr.Rogers with my gooey eyes. Doesn't anyone remember the scientist guy who lived in the Land of Make Believe? I think he was a duck or a platypus and he was rarely on but he lived in a pink and very rectangular place next to the castle. It was always exciting when he was on because he never was. I swear I'm not making this up. I was disappointed that they didn't mention Mr.Rogers during the "In Memorium" spot during the Screen Actors Guild Awards last night. I felt jipped.

The mystery is solved: "All I Need is The Air That I Breathe" was originally done by the Hollies and then covered by Bread. Rest easy, kiddies.

9 March 2003---4:59p
It felt so good to be out for some good conversation with the Knife last night. We talked about our Vegas plans, his blind date, and the upcoming St.Patrick's Day festivities. I felt like my old self for a few minutes...and then I felt like old garbage because who was I kidding? Brodie showed up which was unfortunate because I couldn't hold out any longer. I was sick as a DOG and should have sacrificed beer for sleep, which is what I did after a pit stop at the grocery store for as much yogurt as we could carry and a magazine detailing the feud between Britney Spears and Fred Durst (according to him, she doesn't bother waxing her bikini area. The nerve of some women).

Besides the matter of minutes I saw him yesterday, I haven't talked to Brodie in a week. Even when Knife went to the bathroom, we barely had anything to say to each other. It's unfortunate. He did tell me he heard "Maneater" at 80s Night. I should have been there. Anyway, I'm going to have to make some new friends (in ADDITION to, not IN PALCE OF, my rockin' crew) or I'll end up going to shows alone and that's just unacceptable in my book.

Speaking of shows, I have decided to sacrifice the Lee Rocker show so that I can solidify my being present at Psycho Charger and the Rockabilly Freak Show (in addition to the Fright Vision convention which NO ONE is obligated to go to and should not feel the need to make an appearance unless they're really into it...which no one besides myself really will be because I'm a geek) which take place the two days after we return from Vegas. I'm just going to stretch it all out and make a week long fiesta out of it. I don't want to be able to see straight until March 30th.

Am I ever going to shake this cold? Don't confuse that will "Shake Your Love" by Debbie "Deborah" Gibson. What a hit.

8 March 2003---1:28p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: still playing They Might Be Giants

Today there is a show at the Mantis. That would normally make my heart pump thick warm red-hot blood since Kill the Hippies are on the bill. However, it starts at 5:00p. What a show tease the Mantis is. There's also a show at the Flood tonight. Sexual Tension, Lester and whoever else. Somehow I don't think I'll be making an appearance there either unless the bar scene gets tiring (scoff, scoff). I will, however, be at the following locals in upcoming weeks...think of it as like a promotional package:

Saturday 3/22 Lee Rocker w/LOTH at the Beachland.
Friday 3/28 Psycho Charger w/LOTH at the Lime Spider.
Saturday 3/29 Annual Rockabilly Freakshow at Nemeth's.
Saturday 4/12 AFI w/the Explosion at the Newport.
Saturday 5/10 Los Straitjackets at the Beachland.
Friday 5/16 Dick Dale at the Beachland.

And I was complaining about no good shows. Sheeeesh. I obviously know nothing.

8 March 2003---12:59p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: They Might Be Giants "Factory Showroom"

I was millimeters away from calling off the chaos that was supposed to take place tonight but no fear, it's on. I went to bed last night feeling all sniffly and groggy but not ready to lable myself "sick". But after tossing and turning all night, not being able to breathe and not being able to see straight this morning, all bets, as well as plans, were off. However, I loaded up on drugs, juice and sleep and feel much better. I think if I cram in a few more power naps, I'll be in tip top shape for ruckus causing. Plus, I miss the Knife too much to cancel and I bought a new shirt.

Hats off to Meg-Dog who drank herself senseless and into a sick demise last night. We saulte you and your "party until I can't party anymore and I wiggle in agony on a bathroom floor" attitude. You're a rocker.

I got my haircut for the second time in 7 days. I didn't want to go to Dino Palmieri because they're too expensive and what happened? I went to some slum and they butchered me and I had to go to Dino Palmieri to get it fixed. Bottom line: it's better to go with the 30.00 haircut than to look like you're wearing a wig. No offense to wig wearers.

I do not have an "Indie-Rock Things To-Do List". I don't think I'm going to bother making one. I don't think I'll make a regular to-do list either. And ending on that note, boys should not be named Blair and Sleater Kinney and The Donnas should stop making albums but go on tour together so hopefully their tour busses have a mishap and they all die in a fire.

Pirate bought a rad ass digital camera. Documented chaos will ensue when the camera returns from Detroit with it's owner.

6 March 2003---7:57p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: Violent Femmes "s/t and more"

I've heard lots of hot things in my life but this is the hottest thing I've ever heard since I turned 24, and mind you, I was propsed to after I turned 24. I got a funny feeling in my Snoopy pajama pants when I read this: Thank god for Saturday when I'll be heading down to Kent to FSSU with 'Puss. It's been too long to go without seeing one of the lights in my life. Put your dancin' shoes on sweetheart: We're gonna paint this whiteass town bright effin' red.

I am going to have the biggest hair and the tallest dancing shoes...think "Bridge-n-Tunnle Jersey Trash", and I'm not going home until I can't see straight and I've forgotten all the words to Bon Jovi's "New Jersey", speaking of Jersey Trash. I am going to be what they call around the cell block a "party animal". Saturday's mishaps are the first signs of light at the end of my tunnle which is coated with mucus and ache. I bet you didn't know you could be coated with ache. You can. I am.

I gave up chocolate for Lent and day 2 was a success, most likely because I can't taste anything.

6 March 2003---9:44a

Atom and His Package with KIDDO as an opener? KIDDO? Those guys are like a living NIGHTMARE. It was like sugar water. It was like taking pounds of sugar and making it into a thick paste and slatering it all over my intestines. I hope Kiddo goes up in flames. Unfortunately, they'll probably experience great success.

6 March 2003---9:12a

I dearly miss the days when there was a show I wanted to see every week. I used to count down the days to certain shows and my whole body would be physically affected by my excitement but all of that has just disappeared. I think the last time I got riled up in this manner for a band was when They Might Be Giants played on Halloween (which was even BETTER than expected because of our introduction to the Trachtenburg Family) but the show didn't have the ending that most adrenaline fueled shows have because the set list was poor. I do get worked up to see Lords of the Highway but it's become an expected feeling...I look forward to the show and always have a good time but it's the same good time every time. The Lee Rocker show on the 22nd should be good (as it may be as close to 1/3 of the Stary Cats as I'll ever get) but my socks still aren't rocked with excitement. I want the Mantis to reopen to desperately...those weekends were the best. My drunk friends, loud music, people to pick on...sigh.

My head is throbbing. Waah, waah waah...that's the sound it's making inside my skull. I can't almost feel blood in my brain and it's making my want to toss. I started to feel weak two days ago and now POW...like a brick. I need a Morphine.

I miss my friends. I'm not getting all mushy, I just haven't seen some people in a while. I have plans with The Knife on Saturday to...I dunno...FSSU? I'm not sure but whatever it is, I havn't seen him in weeks so it'll be stylish, I promise you that. We're going to make our mark (do not confuse that with Maker's Mark).

I have to put my head back to bed or it may explode...and then the blood I can hear flowing around in there will be everywhere and who will clean it up?

4 March 2003---3:07p
MUSIC TO BLOG BY: The B-52s "Nude on the Moon: The Anthology"

I'll be the first to admit that I was quite the shriveled up rocker last night at Happy Hour and I've lost my dart-edge. I drank and smoked like a champ and then I tossed my cookies, was nasty to my boyfriend, and passed out. Dude, I am quite a catch.

This weekend was just a disaster and I don't especially want to dig through the debris but I will spout off a little. I was pretty fucking excited to go to the Flood and see The Pirahnas again since they rocked the socks off everyone at the Lime Spider months back. However, I just think The Flood is too small for a show of that caliber. It's hard to concentrate on having fun when you're being pushed, pulled, and punched from every angle. And I understand having rowdy fun. I've been that person. Maybe I'm just getting too old for that kind of scene but every time my drink got spilled or I was smooshed into Byrne, I just kept wondering when rocking became a contact sport. Everyone's entitled to whatever they consider a good time but you can let one of your buddies be a purposefully violent jackass and not expect people to retaliate. What's the difference between punching someone in the ear and kicking that same person out of your space? None.

Bottom line, I'll never go to another Pirahnas show which is sad because the keyboard player seemed like a nice gal. I just think the singer had too big of an ego and why should you let someone be violent twoards your fans just because they're your buddy? In the end, I was so miffed that Switchblade's good time was wrecked because I knew how much he looked forward to it. I've never seen him so irate. The whole event was lame and fighting with Pirate was just icing on the cake. One of us should just start a venue so we can call the shots.

Once again, I would like to remind everyone that EXs should be outlawed, especially those that meddle in your business. All I can do is laugh, I guess. I did punch Brodie for assisting said EX after a fall which may have been uncalled for (the punch, certainly not the fall) but I won't totally apolgize. She wasn't going to get trampled to death a la the Great White fiasco and there were plenty of other people that could have helped her...it just set me off that HE had to help HER, my one true enemy, someone who verbally picked a fight with me on the street. I don't think he would have helped my EX if he fell, that's all I'm saying, yo. EX Island, it's still a good idea.

I am not going to drink from now until March 15th when I will be painting downtown Kent green in celebration of my heritage. All are invited and I promise that I will not take my bra off inside a bar, dance to Brittney Spears with a guy who looked like Grizzly Adams, or puke on my shoes like I did circa 2001. Don't feel obligated to come...just come if you want to have a good time. Holidays involving drinking that occur in a college town are just a blue print fot entertainment.

I think it's time to put on really clothes and burn my pajamas. Something could have quite possibly died in my hair.